Monday, April 26, 2010

Confusion Confusion ... why so confused?

Well, life has been okay as of late. Sort of ... only one little itty bitty problem. I don't know what to do with my life!!!! It looks like I will be getting my GED soon. Thats a good thing, I suppose. But then what? I absolutely refuse to sit around home being a bummy teenager doing nothing. Either I need to work or I need to go to school. I love helping people and I also love Biology so I'm thinking about going into nursing. With this nursing shortage it seems like one of the best options. But alas! I don't know if thats what I should do! Ahhhh!! My life has just shifted into 5th gear and is picking up speed. I hope this thing doesn't spin out of control. The crazy thing is I just want to do what God would have me to do ... but I don't think I know what that is ... ! Confusion ... I know that I'm only 16 but I'm the kind of person that likes to be on top of things. I don't like to feel that I'm out of control. But being that way makes it a lot harder for me to just let go and let God. Sometimes I ask myself: Do I really know who I am? I mean, really? And I have to say no. Only God know's who I really am. With that knowledge, I have no business trying to run my own show and direct my own life because I would pick something that I think I would like and end up hating it. I don't know me. Sometimes thats a little hard to accept, but the truth is the truth! Well, I do believe that leaving it in God's infinite hands is the best way to go. Even though I'm something of a control freak and I don't like to be out of control, I know that my life without God would be a disaster. The awesome thing is, God can take my ultimate disaster and create something of a beautiful disaster. Yup, thats me ... a beautiful disaster ... ! O wait, I don't know who I am ... h'mmm ... =)

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