Monday, May 31, 2010

Let It Go ...


I'm sure I'm not the only one thats gone through 'something' and been affected by what other decided to do. Its like it feels that everyone uses you to do what they want then they cast you aside and move on to the next person. Or maybe, someone that you trusted lied to you. Or could be that you have been wronged by someone that should have protected you. Whatever the case, it seems that the majority of the human race has in one way or the other had to forgive someone. Sometimes it can be kind of easy, other times it can be so difficult. But every time, you come to the cross road: forgive or hold a grudge? Holding grudges have been medically proven to decrease health, while forgiveness gives health and vitality to a soul that would have been bogged down with who knows what. I'm the kind of person that takes forever to get angry. People can do all manner of things to me, and I'll never react. But if I ever get angry at someone or something, you can count on me never forgetting it. So forgiveness doesn't exactly come easy for me. Its not usually my first reaction to a situation. I used to pride myself on being a master at acting. I loved to act fine and okay, when I was crying and torn up and depressed inside. I became so good at it that even my family couldn't tell the difference. Now as I look back I can see the danger in pushing things below the surface and trying to be okay when you aren't. It doesn't work to well, for one thing, and the other part is that you learn to act so well that you forget who you really are ... what your actually like. Being naturally sensitive to what people say to me from the time I was small has had its disadvantages. I've always wanted to be 'tough' and not a 'cry baby' so I've almost always buried things underneath, trying to be the person I'm not. My 'plan' backfired seriously. Now I'm dealing with all of the things that I've buried that insisted on resurfacing. Blahh ... no fun ... As I look back again, I wish so much that I had learned to let things go; even things that really hurt me. You can't let things go by yourself, though; almost always it takes help from Jesus for you to actually just let things go, to forgive and forget and move on. As I said before, its not always easy, but I can promise that its doable. With God 'all things are possible' even forgiving the most grievous sin against you. So I don't know what you've gone through, what kind of things that have been done to hurt you, what others have done against you, but I do know this one thing ... let it go ... holding on to it will only destroy you. Forgive, forget, and move on ... Life isn't fair in any way, shape, or form so I know that a lot of 'unfairities' (made up word) have happened to you just like they've happened to me. But you gotta, you really gotta, just let it go ... because holding onto it does nothing for you! Its like taking poison and expecting the other person to die ... doesn't make sense. I can hear someone that's reading thins saying "You don't understand what I've been through! You have no idea!" Well, your correct, very correct. I don't know ... but I do know that you need to let it go ... ask for God's help. He will help you! He wants you to be able to forgive too. I love the picture because it seems that sometimes the things that we go through chain us to something or someone. Clip the tie ... don't keep holding on ... So thats the thought I want to leave with you today; no matter whats happened, what you've gone through, or whats been done to you, I urge you to let it go ... just let it go ...

Friday, May 21, 2010

*Real* Beauty ... !


In the world that we live in today it seems that the only way to dubbed as "beautiful" is to be skinny as a bean pole (no offense to those that are naturally skinny!), have long, wavy hair, flawless skin, not too tall, not too short, be --ahem-- 'blessed', and have a pretty face. Voila! Then your beautiful! But really ... are you? Okay, so maybe your one of those girls that will have guys bending over backward to get a second look (and if you haven't already guesses, I'm not in that group); still, are you really beautiful? Maybe you've never had a guy 'like' you, or you always run past the mirror. But does that make you not beautiful? What is beauty? The dictionary would describe the word beauty as "the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind ... " *cough cough* I dare say that the dictionary is somewhat wrong. Beauty is that ... a little ... but I'm talking about *real* beauty. It seems that almost every girl is on a quest to be beautiful ... I want to share a poem that I wrote about this subject some time ago ... I was crying out at that time ... I wanted to be beautiful so bad; then, as He always does, God showed me something that I want to share with you all ...


I see the past and imagine the future, yet one little thread runs though it all.
A desire ... something that is wanted by many. Not just to be loved,
popular, and wanted. Something else ... similar, yet totally different. Others
may have it, but many don't. Still some pretend they have it, but in reality,
they are far from it. This desire manifest itself in the most interesting ways.
When you look in a mirror, when you're trying to get to sleep, when your're
friends are around or talking on the phone. When you're looking at a
magazine or shopping at the store ... this desire comes ever so strongly.
Sometimes you can push it down or ignore it, but other times it comes
so strong that you are forced to look it in the eye. And sometimes ...
sometimes it makes you cry. This desire is not new' it has been passed
down through the ages. Many wrap their lives around it and make it
their prime thought. Others pretend not to care ... even when everybody
knows their lying. Some go to great lengths trying to satisfy the desire. Even
doing things that may not be healthy or good to do so. Some even hurt
themselves trying to satisfy it ... but nothing ... nothing seems to work.
And all ... all are dying for just one thing. Their dying ....
dying to be beautiful ....


That same day I wrote a song ... It was like God's answer to my question ...


We look at someone and say their beautiful, not thinking about
the other part. Real beauty is deeper than appearances,
something that comes from the heart. And I know most
every girl dreams of being beautiful, but maybe we've got
this beauty thing all wrong ...

God says, 'I have made you beautiful, beautiful.
I love you just the way you are'. We think we are
still not beautiful, beautiful, and walk around with
broken hearts still trying, dying, to be
beautiful, beautiful ...

Maybe we need to take a step back and look at things the
way they are. Stop looking to others to tell us we're beautiful
and look to the One who made us like we are. He's the only one
that can make you the star that He wants you to be ...

God says, 'I have made you beautiful, beautiful.
I love you just the way you are'. We think we are
still not beautiful, beautiful, and walk around with
broken hearts still trying, dying, to be
beautiful, beautiful ...

Its not always easy to accept the way we are,
but God made you to be you. He loves you
and He thinks your beautiful, so beautiful,
because your beauty comes from within
your heart ...

God says, 'I have made you beautiful, beautiful.
I love you just the way you are' ...

He loves you and He thinks your beautiful ...
so beautiful ....

So real beauty, real beauty, isn't something that depends on your looks, the way your shaped, or how many guys 'like' you. *Real* beauty 1) comes from God and 2) is centered in your heart. When you help and older lady clean her house, when your kind, considerate, cheerful, and helpful. I don't know about you, but I've found that some of the people that we consider "beautiful" are actually pretty shallow underneath. What kind of beauty do you posses? Is it only the outward beauty that make people glance at you, or is it the real, inner beauty that reflects a heart that is consecrated to Christ? H'mm ... something to think about, huh? :) Let your beauty be from within ... let it flow from Christ ... remember "Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman that fears the LORD, she shall be praised" (Prov. 31: 30)

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Have YOU Decided?


You know, the past few day's I've really been thinking ... about a lot of spiritual stuff ... wondering ... I know that most people don't want to go to hell; a lot of people want to go to heaven. But how? I mean, I know that Jesus died so that we can be saved and all, but just claiming God's grace over your life and doing whatever you want isn't exactly going to "get you there", if you know what I mean. So I've been wondering ... Like what if you really want to go to heaven and all, but you just can't seem to make up your mind enough ... Like you keep failing and failing and failing .... sinning and sinning and sinning ... and you just can't seem to stop! You want to know Jesus. You want to be used in His service, but you know that you can't do that being the way you are. So yeahh, what do you do? As I kept turning this over in my head ... and praying about it ... and then it was like Jesus whispered in my ear and then a song came into my mind ...

I have decided to follow Jesus,
I have decided to follow Jesus,
I have decided to follow Jesus,
No turning back,
No turning back.

And then ... then it all made sense! We must decide! It all boils down to our choice. Its not like we have to sin. We don't have to fail. Jesus is ready and waiting to give us the victory over every sin that besets us. But we have to decide ... do we want to follow Jesus? Do we want to be freed from sin? Do we want to be in His service? I don't know about you, but I want that more than anything else in the world. The decision is the first step. As we allow Jesus to live His life out within us we can become like Him. So all this struggling and restlessness is for nothing. In short, make up your mind! Either you wanna follow Jesus or you don't ... And thats not always the easiest thing to do ...

Though none go with me, still I will follow;
Though none go with me, still I will follow;
Though none go with me, still I will follow;
No turning back,
No turning back.

When you really decide to follow Jesus, you may have to let somethings go. Like maybe certain types of music, movies, and activities that you do. It won't exactly be easy, but once you've decided thats the only way to get closer to Jesus; by letting go of the things that are between you and Jesus.

The world behind me, the cross before me;
The world behind me, the cross before me;
The world behind me, the cross before me;
No turning back,
No turning back.

Then usually, you will want others, especially your friends and family, to make the same decision too. You want them to follow Jesus so that you can all spend eternity together in paradise. Thats what I want for all my friends and family ...

Will you decide now to follow Jesus?
Will you decide now to follow Jesus?
Will you decide now to follow Jesus?
No turning back,
No turning back.

Thats pretty much it ... have you decided?

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Psh, who to trust??


*sigh*
I'm trying to be a lot more cheerful these days, but sometimes (probably due somewhat to --ahem-- "being a girl") life can kind of get you down. I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that there is hope in spite of anything I may go thorough (last blog) yet at times I just wish that that hope would manifest itself a little more ... I have some awesome friends that I love a lot and I thank God for them everyday. But then I have some "friends" that have passed through my life over the years that once promised to "be there forever", but "forever" didn't last much longer then they did. xP Sometimes I feel like yelling at them: "I trusted you! I let you into my life! Why are you doing this to me?", but somehow I know that it would do nothing but drive them further away ... I won't lie; it kind of hurts to have someone so close and then find them to be far away. Then I wonder ... Is it me? Is it because I have some sort of problem that they snubbed me? Ahhgg ... life can be so cruel at times. But hey, I know that God has given me some of the best friends in the world. The funny think is that most of them are over the internet, not in person. Every time I talk to them (instant messaging) I have to thank God that He brought these wonderful friendships into my life even thought a lot of friends have let me down in a lot of ways. In Micah 7:5 it says: "Do not trust a friend; do not put your confidence in a companion ..." How much plainer can you get? I've been wondering ... WHO CAN I TRUST?!?!and I just have to realize that, pretty much, no one ... yup. As humans our promises are like "ropes of sand" as one author wrote ... when I look back at my own life I can see friends that I've brushed off and ignored. I guess I'm just getting some of my own medicine, huh? I've tried in recent years to never ever ignore someone that needs a friend and I've made quite a few friends like that. Somehow, even having the best friends that I could ever pray for doesn't make loosing friends any easier. But the thing that I am most grateful for is that no matter how many friends I may loose due to whatever, there is still One Person that I can always trust. Jesus. He was always there when I was feeling so alone ... to put it bluntly, you can't really trust people. They can and many times will let you down. But you can always always always trust Jesus. The Friend that will never ever leave you or forsake you. I am so thankful for that, aren't you? :) Okay, blogging therapy has worked; I feel much happier now! =D