Tuesday, December 21, 2010

It's beginning to feel like its not Christmas ... >_>

When I was a kid, Christmas was awesome ... ! A tree, decorations, and of course, presents ^_^ my family and I always spent the day together, sometimes with extended family, sometimes not. We would all play around with our gifts and it was such a happy time for me. I loved the night before Christmas and everything ... waking up with the excitement that it was Christmas! My parents never flew with the whole Santa Clause thing, so they always gave my siblings and I $50 to do our Christmas shopping. Seems like pennies now, but hey, when you're a kid $50 was a lot of money (a lot better then the 'olden days' when parents gave their kids 50 cents). Christmas holds warm memories and happy thoughts (:

But then, I got older. Really fast, it seemed ... by the time I was 13, I was done with the whole 'Christmas thing'. Everybody in my family was ...

Dad: You guys wanna put up the tree?

My sibling and I: Haul it from the storage shed? no thanks!

So Christmas began to take on a whole different feel. No one in my family ever felt like pulling out a tree, decorating it, going out to buy presents, waiting till Christmas morning, giving out presents, cooking a huge dinner, taking down the tree and decorations ... blahh blahh blahh ...
We simply got tired of the whole deal. Why go through all that trouble for a simply holiday? We all know its coming around in a year so if we miss it this year, there's always next year!
And so this year ... everything is missing for me. Like okay, even though we didn't get into it, there was always a happy feeling that came with Christmas.

This year?

That nice, warm, happy feeling lasted all of two minutes before reality took over. I wanted to recapture it, but I have missed every time. Now Christmas is days away, and I still feel like its just a regular time of year. What is happening?! I'm trying to get myself hyped up, but I am failing miserably. It's quite interesting ... of course theres no tree, no lights, and barely any presents ... but I don't think those little things are to blame. It's just something that maybe comes with growing up. When you're worrying about getting into college, how to pay bills, how to get another job, and numerous other things, its kinda hard to catch the 'Christmas spirit' and just cast aside all your worries and be HAPPY! It's like, please! go slap yourself, the problems are still there after December 25th! I think my brother said it best when he said all he wants for Christmas is a break from reality ... where you can really forget everything and just have peace ...

yupp, thats what I think I want for Christmas ...

who's buying?

Note ::
I love celebrating Jesus birth and all, but really, he wasn't born in December anyway even though it is nice to focus especially on that during the Christmas season. (: and this is just my personal feelings ... if you still have that lovely Christmas feeling, more power to ya ! (;